Asking those hard to describe questions about your relationship is difficult,

especially when the people you trust most may be biased in one way or another. Add

World of Warcraft to the mix and things get downright confusing. Thankfully Witch

Doctor Zuv’jin is ready and willing to answer any and all questions directly

relating to your WoW relationship.

The guru of love: Witch Doctor Zuv’jin.potions for any occasion. Now without further

adieu let’s see some of those burning relationship questions and what the Doctor

himself has to say.

Our first question comes from Kib who hails from the outer reaches of Northrend. He
Winterspring III
writes:

Dear Witch Doctor Zuv’jin,
I recently began a relationship with an attractive Undead Rogue I met while prowling

around the Barrens. She likes long walks along the beaches of Northrend, sipping

Thistle Tea in the inn in Orgrimmar, and frolicking from puddle to puddle in

Zangarmarsh. I think she may be the perfect girl for me, except she refuses to send

me any pictures, and when I finally managed to get her on vent her voice had a deep

ringing quality to it. She of course quickly explained she had been feeling sick,

hence the deep voice, however I am worried as of lately she has started demanding I

present her with gifts daily, including thousands of gold, rare items, and even epic

mounts purchased on EBay. Tell me Doctor, is this relationship worth it?

Kip mon,
I have some bad news for you brudder, that lady friend of yours be a dude. Everybody

know that there be no girls on da internets. This dude probably be at least 40 years

old, with back hair you could get lost in and you be buying gifts for him! While it

may seem natural for a Rogue to try to rob you blind Zuv’jin be sayin’ get out

while you can mon. If you doubt Zuv’jin he recommend the Syndicate who recently be

offering the detective services. They be showin’ you the truth.

Our next question comes from Tholan, who sets his hearthstone deep in the jungles of

Stranglethorn Vale, he writes:

Zuv’jin,
I am happily married to the woman of my dreams, or so I thought. Recently she has

started taking offense to me devoting so much time to World of Warcraft. She has even

gone so far as to threaten to pack her things and leave if I do not give up the game.

I don’t want to give up the game, but I don’t want to see my wife leave either,

what should I do?

Tholan,
Zuv’jin be very unhappy with you not showin’ the proper respect and using his title

of Witch Doctor. He be havin’ half a mind not to be answering your question, you be

lucky Zuv’jin be feeling generous today.

Your question be a tough one, but Zuv’jin has the answer don’t you worry. Zuv’jin

be saying World of Warcraft is forever, wives come and go. You don’t be needin’ her

nagging you all the time while you trying to play. You be much happier when you can

play as you please. Not to mention all the extra closet space you be freeing up. If

you be getting lonely simply create yourself a fiesty little Night Elf to dance with

you, computer graphics never be telling you not to play.

Our final question of the day comes from Fayne who makes his home in good old

Durotar, he writes:

Never have another broken heart again!
Witch Doctor Zuv’jin,
I love my girlfriend, but she can’t seem to understand that playing World of

Warcraft is hard work. She refuses to hold my potty pot for me, and to add insult to

injury she will not deliver the sustenance I need by bringing me Hot Pockets and

Kool-Aid every hour on the hour. My friends seem to be in agreement that I am asking

too much, but I feel it’s her responsibility since she is the one who insisted we

move out of my Mom’s basement. I don’t want to lose her Doctor Zuv’jin, but how

can I make her see things my way?

Fayen,
Zuv’jin be thinking that you should have picked yourself up a nice Troll girl, they

knows how to treat a man right. Since you don’t have a Troll girl, Zuv’jin be

saying you need to put your foot down. She be your woman and your woman should take

care of you, especially since she take you away from your loving Mama.

If that not be workin you come back and see Zuv’jin and he be brewing you up a

potion that will make your woman your unquestioning servent. It not be tested on

human females yet, but Zuv’jin be thinking that it will work just fine, or it might

turn her into a frog. Either way it be a win win situation, you either be getting the

girlfriend of your dreams, or some tasty frog legs. In which case Zuv’jin would have

to ask for a small fee of half of the frog in question. Zuv’jin be lovin him some

frog. 

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