Asking those hard to describe questions about your relationship is difficult,
especially when the people you trust most may be biased in one way or another. Add
World of Warcraft to the mix and things get downright confusing. Thankfully Witch
Doctor Zuvâ€™jin is ready and willing to answer any and all questions directly
relating to your WoW relationship.
The guru of love: Witch Doctor Zuv’jin.potions for any occasion. Now without further
adieu letâ€™s see some of those burning relationship questions and what the Doctor
himself has to say.
Our first question comes from Kib who hails from the outer reaches of Northrend. He
Dear Witch Doctor Zuvâ€™jin,
I recently began a relationship with an attractive Undead Rogue I met while prowling
around the Barrens. She likes long walks along the beaches of Northrend, sipping
Thistle Tea in the inn in Orgrimmar, and frolicking from puddle to puddle in
Zangarmarsh. I think she may be the perfect girl for me, except she refuses to send
me any pictures, and when I finally managed to get her on vent her voice had a deep
ringing quality to it. She of course quickly explained she had been feeling sick,
hence the deep voice, however I am worried as of lately she has started demanding I
present her with gifts daily, including thousands of gold, rare items, and even epic
mounts purchased on EBay. Tell me Doctor, is this relationship worth it?
I have some bad news for you brudder, that lady friend of yours be a dude. Everybody
know that there be no girls on da internets. This dude probably be at least 40 years
old, with back hair you could get lost in and you be buying gifts for him! While it
may seem natural for a Rogue to try to rob you blind Zuvâ€™jin be sayinâ€™ get out
while you can mon. If you doubt Zuvâ€™jin he recommend the Syndicate who recently be
offering the detective services. They be showinâ€™ you the truth.
Our next question comes from Tholan, who sets his hearthstone deep in the jungles of
Stranglethorn Vale, he writes:
I am happily married to the woman of my dreams, or so I thought. Recently she has
started taking offense to me devoting so much time to World of Warcraft. She has even
gone so far as to threaten to pack her things and leave if I do not give up the game.
I donâ€™t want to give up the game, but I donâ€™t want to see my wife leave either,
what should I do?
Zuvâ€™jin be very unhappy with you not showinâ€™ the proper respect and using his title
of Witch Doctor. He be havinâ€™ half a mind not to be answering your question, you be
lucky Zuvâ€™jin be feeling generous today.
Your question be a tough one, but Zuvâ€™jin has the answer donâ€™t you worry. Zuvâ€™jin
be saying World of Warcraft is forever, wives come and go. You donâ€™t be needinâ€™ her
nagging you all the time while you trying to play. You be much happier when you can
play as you please. Not to mention all the extra closet space you be freeing up. If
you be getting lonely simply create yourself a fiesty little Night Elf to dance with
you, computer graphics never be telling you not to play.
Our final question of the day comes from Fayne who makes his home in good old
Durotar, he writes:
Never have another broken heart again!
Witch Doctor Zuvâ€™jin,
I love my girlfriend, but she canâ€™t seem to understand that playing World of
Warcraft is hard work. She refuses to hold my potty pot for me, and to add insult to
injury she will not deliver the sustenance I need by bringing me Hot Pockets and
Kool-Aid every hour on the hour. My friends seem to be in agreement that I am asking
too much, but I feel itâ€™s her responsibility since she is the one who insisted we
move out of my Momâ€™s basement. I donâ€™t want to lose her Doctor Zuvâ€™jin, but how
can I make her see things my way?
Zuvâ€™jin be thinking that you should have picked yourself up a nice Troll girl, they
knows how to treat a man right. Since you donâ€™t have a Troll girl, Zuvâ€™jin be
saying you need to put your foot down. She be your woman and your woman should take
care of you, especially since she take you away from your loving Mama.
If that not be workin you come back and see Zuvâ€™jin and he be brewing you up a
potion that will make your woman your unquestioning servent. It not be tested on
human females yet, but Zuvâ€™jin be thinking that it will work just fine, or it might
turn her into a frog. Either way it be a win win situation, you either be getting the
girlfriend of your dreams, or some tasty frog legs. In which case Zuvâ€™jin would have
to ask for a small fee of half of the frog in question. Zuvâ€™jin be lovin him some